My First Service
This probably is an overdue post. It started last July 15 when I had my very first service at The Feast. I have had the strong urge to try to audition before when I was still attending PICC session, but I never tried. Finally, when I decided to transfer to Feast QC, I had the courage to do so.
I really felt undeserving to be one of God’s servant, to partake in the highest form of celebration of the Eucharist. Who could have thought that someone like me, who started school in a Buddhist school, transfered high school in a non sectarian school and someone who studied in a Pontifical university and struggled to pass various Theology classes, can be part of the mass celebration? Someone who has sinned, someone who is continuously in the process of learning about Him, can get the courage to read the word of the Lord? But I still gave it a try.
My first service was beyond any description of being nervous, it was beyond stage fright. The moment I held on the mic, I knew my hand was shaking. But after a while, I felt peace. I knew that it wasn’t just me, it was Him taking charge. My mind was so preoccupied with what could go wrong before, with what I could not do at the right time; that I had forgotten to put Him at the center of it all.
During my first service, it was the sakristan kids who literally guided me during the mass. Which I now realize is also a way of God telling me that kids as young they maybe, are never less than of adults. They can give encouragement to someone too.
And today, is the last day of my service in The Feast QC-BSWM PM session as the branch will be merging and moving in SM North session. During my last service this afternoon, I still had the cold hands, but it was more because deep in my heart, I want to make my last readings in PM session, be clearly communicated so that the message of God speak through them; and that all praises are and would be for His glory.
I still have bits and pieces of feelings whether I am deserving to serve God, but during these moments, I just remember that God qualifies the called. I know He will continuously equip me with what I need to do His will.
God maybe is uprooting me at this time, but I know wherever I will be replanted, it is part of His bigger plan. Have a blessed week ahead everyone.
